


We Are Not Now

by seepingout



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 09:54:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7710610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seepingout/pseuds/seepingout





	We Are Not Now

Her fingers hurt all the time. Kara's commented more than once that she doesn't need super-hearing to know when she's flexing her fingers. And she flexes them all the time. No matter what she's doing every few hours she has to flex and shift them to fight off the stiffness that sets in. Kara's no longer so keen on Rice Krispies because of her.

It was one of the sillier things she'd had to lie about before Kara became Supergirl, claiming it was a result of a clumsy moment of distraction in a lab. Kara knows better now, knows that it comes from too many punches thrown without gloves, too many jams from catching herself incorrectly as she fell or was thrown trying to subdue Fort Roz prisoners. 

It's just another inconvenience they've dealt with. In adapting to the logistical realities and restrictions of Kara's super-strength they explored a variety of options that also made up for the fact that at some point her fingers would simply give out.

Of all the things she worries about in their relationship, it's a larger concern than anyone, especially Kara, would probably guess. She's young and her hands already hurt this much. She's not leaving the field any time soon so they will only get worse. And they're not the only damage she has, just the most noticeable. Being thrown around by aliens is going to cause damage, no matter how much you've trained to minimize it. Her knees creak in the morning and while training at the gym her right knee clicks and grates. She's twisted her ankles more times than she can count since joining the DEO, and a childhood in sports gave her more than her fair share of those already. Her back aches when it's cold and her right shoulder twinges when she reaches too high.

Kara has super-healing and spent her childhood on a planet with advanced medical capabilities. She doesn't really understand what all these little things will add up to, how getting older isn't the only thing that will slow Alex down, is already slowing her down. But she worries about it. More than the social and professional fallout of their relationship, more than the lingering disapproval her mother has heaped on the giant pile of other things that make her daughter a disappointment to her. 

She worries that when Kara finally sees the full effect of all that damage, sees that the damage to her fingers, and the rest of her, isn't just about pops and creaks but also a limiting in what she's capable of, it will change how Kara sees her. She doesn't worry that Kara will look for someone else (well, not for this reason), she worries that Kara will pity her. That the underlying, subconscious thoughts about the frailty and inferiority of humans that surfaced during Kara's exposure to red kryptonite will worm their way back into her head, that Kara will no longer look at her as an equal. She already knows they aren't but Kara has always doggedly insisted that they are, and she loves that about Kara as much as anything. And she really, really doesn't want to lose that. Because if there's anything that will break her as much as Kara leaving it would be if she stayed and looked at her as less-than. 

She's been less-than enough in her life and she's fought hard to get to this point, where no one treats her like that and the few that do no longer affect her. Kara affects her, completely. And Kara is a big reason why she's no longer fazed by what anyone else thinks of her. Kara's belief in her outweighs anyone else's opinion and if she no longer has that the damage will be truly irreparable.


End file.
